淘金女與投資家

wall-street-wolf

以下是一段Craig’s list有關美貌淘金女子的精彩對話。Craig’s list 的歷史我想大家都知道﹐在此不談。有此抱負的女子有很多﹐但如到如此”誠懇”的回複卻是難得一見。回帖者敢把自己的名字與工作單位也帖出來的﹐實在是非常牛逼(也就是說﹐吹牛?)。

想嫁年薪50萬,該哪裡找

我下面要說的都是心裏話。本人25歲,非常漂亮,是那種讓人驚豔的漂亮,談吐文雅,氣質出眾,想嫁給年薪50萬美元的人。你也許會說我貪心,但在紐約,年薪100萬才算是中產,本人的要求其實不高。
這個版上有沒有年薪超過50萬的人?你們都結婚了嗎?我想請教各位一個問題:怎樣才能嫁給你們這樣的有錢人?我約會過的人中,最有錢的年薪25萬,這似乎是我的上限。要住進紐約中央公園西區的高尚住宅區,年薪25萬遠遠不夠。我在瑜珈課認識一個女的,嫁給一位投資家,住在翠貝卡,既不漂亮也不聰明。她到底是做對了什麼?我要怎麼做才能像她一樣?
以下是我的問題:
一、有錢的單身漢一般都在哪裡消磨時光?(請列出酒吧、飯店、健身房的名字和詳細地址。)
二、你們對伴侶到底有什麼要求?請坦白說,別怕我傷心。
三、我是否應該把目標定在某個年齡層?
四、為什麼那些上東區過著奢華生活的女人們如此平凡?我見過有些女孩,長相如同白開水,毫無吸引力,嫁的都是有錢人。而一些迷死人的美女,卻只能獨坐在東村的單身酒吧裡。原因何在?
五、律師、醫生、投資家們,你們到底賺多少錢?避險基金的經理人們,你們都在哪裡混?
六、你們怎麼決定誰能做妻子,誰只能做女朋友?(我現在的目標是結婚。)

——波爾斯小姐

這篇文章貼出來之後,一位華爾街金融家給了回應:

親愛的波爾斯:
我懷著極大的興趣看完了貴帖,相信不少女士也有跟你類似的疑問。讓我以一個投資專家的身份,對你的處境做一分析。我年薪超過50萬,符合你的擇偶標準,所以請相信我並不是在浪費大家的時間。
從生意人的角度來看,跟你結婚是個糟糕的經營決策,道理再明白不過,請聽我解釋。拋開細枝末節,你所說的其實是一筆簡單的「財」「貌」交易:甲方提供迷人的外表,乙方出錢,公平交易,童叟無欺。但是,這裏有個致命的問題,你的美貌會消逝,但我的錢卻不會無緣無故減少。事實上,我的收入很可能會逐年遞增.而你不可能一年比一年漂亮。
因此,從經濟學的角度講,我是增值資產,你是貶值資產,不但貶值,而且是加速貶值,你現在25,在未來的五年裏,你仍可以保持窈窕的身段,俏麗的容貌,雖然每年略有退步。但美貌消逝的速度會越來越快,如果它是你僅有的資產,十年以後你的價值堪憂。
用華爾街術語說,每筆交易都有一個倉位元,跟你交往屬於「交易倉位元」(trading position),一旦價值下跌就要立即拋售,而不宜長期持有——也就是你想要的婚姻。聽起來很殘忍,但對一件會加速貶值的物資,明智的選擇是租賃,而不是購入。年薪能超過50萬的人,當然都不是傻瓜,因此我們只會跟你交往,但不會跟你結婚。所以我勸你不要苦苦尋找嫁給有錢人的秘方。順便說一句,你倒可以想辦法把自己變成年薪50萬的人,這比碰到一個有錢傻瓜的勝算要大。
希望我的回帖能對你有幫助。如果你對「租賃」感興趣,請跟我聯繫。”

——羅伯.坎貝爾 (J. P. Morgan 多元產業投資顧問)

羅伯這封調侃淘金女的回應,引起廣大的迴響,受到了英雄式的讚譽,尤其是來自華爾街那些有錢的金融書呆子。不過 J. P. Morgan 的公關部在前日對紐約時報表示,這篇回應並非來自羅伯,他只是看到這篇文章相當有趣,在轉寄給朋友的時候,忘了把自己的簽名檔去掉,所以被誤認為是他寫的。”

原文

‎”A Reply From CEO of J.P. Morgan To A Pretty Girl Seeking A Rich Husband”.. !

A young ‘n pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

—————————————————-
Title: What Should I do to Marry A Rich Guy?
—————————————————-

I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here. I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style ‘n good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.

You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.

My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?

I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?

Among those I’ve dated, the richest is $250k annual income,’n it seems that this is my upper limit.

If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.

I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names ‘n addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who don’t have looks ‘n are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, ‘n who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty

A Philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:

Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.

My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope
everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty” ‘n “money” : Person A provides beauty,’n Person B pays for it, fair ‘n square.

However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t be prettier year after year.

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, ‘n you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a “trading position”.
If the trade value dropped we will sell it ‘n it is not a good idea to keep it for long term – same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased”.

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. ‘n by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in “leasing” services, do contact me.

signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO…

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